Wake Up Call

Yesterday I spent the day attending the funeral of my friend's son.  He was eleven years old.  A massive tumour on his brain stem sucked his life from his body.  He was diagnosed in June and has been mostly in pain and on a hospital ward since then.  It has been horrific and that's just for me on the sidelines…I can never comprehend what Viv is going through and hope I never do.  Standing at the hearse she hugged me and sobbed into my ear 'my baby is gone.  I'll never see him again.  I don't know what to do.  Maybe one day I'll understand…I hope so.'  There was nothing I could say.

Those recent events have opened my eyes somewhat to how fragile life is and how precious our loved ones are.  I keep looking at my son, drinking in his presence, trying to imprint his every move in my brain and being thankful that he is with me.  I have to constantly drive away thoughts of 'what if it were him'. I've always known that I don't work for the money but this tragedy has crystallized the importance of what I do in my mind.  It is to be free - free to control how much money I make, free to make decisions, free to have time to do the things that are important - be with my son and loved ones.  My work means that I can be with him as much as I want and I treasure that precious commodity.  I know Viv would give anything for another moment with her son.

Fly free in the soft light Conor.  Peace.

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