December 14, 2007
Wake Up Call
Yesterday I spent the day attending the funeral of my friend's son. He was eleven years old. A massive tumour on his brain stem sucked his life from his body. He was diagnosed in June and has been mostly in pain and on a hospital ward since then. It has been horrific and that's just for me on the sidelines…I can never comprehend what Viv is going through and hope I never do. Standing at the hearse she hugged me and sobbed into my ear 'my baby is gone. I'll never see him again. I don't know what to do. Maybe one day I'll understand…I hope so.' There was nothing I could say.
Those recent events have opened my eyes somewhat to how fragile life is and how precious our loved ones are. I keep looking at my son, drinking in his presence, trying to imprint his every move in my brain and being thankful that he is with me. I have to constantly drive away thoughts of 'what if it were him'. I've always known that I don't work for the money but this tragedy has crystallized the importance of what I do in my mind. It is to be free - free to control how much money I make, free to make decisions, free to have time to do the things that are important - be with my son and loved ones. My work means that I can be with him as much as I want and I treasure that precious commodity. I know Viv would give anything for another moment with her son.
Fly free in the soft light Conor. Peace.
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